Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
