Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize
