you guys were way drunker than both of me
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Randomize
