Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
smell my finger.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
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