No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
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