Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Randomize
