Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
