ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
