Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
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