For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
