Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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