...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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