ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
