Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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