We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
