whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
