Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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