Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Randomize
