Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
