I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
