Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
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