if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
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