O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
