omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Randomize
