how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
