Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
