you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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