Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
This is the high leading the old right now
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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