life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
