yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
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