put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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