I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
the raccoons are back...
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