Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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