Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
