Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
