So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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