Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
