It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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