Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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