That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
