omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
