i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Randomize
