big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
