exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
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