We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
