Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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