Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
