It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
