She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
