i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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