I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
